When Real Life is More Interesting Than Blogs

Sweet Jesus, I have not written anything on this blog for two months. It seemed like everything was going fine: I was writing up a storm, blogging once or twice a week. Dammit, this is what being a real writer feels like, I thought to myself. And then everything stopped.

In my writing life.

But in my real life, things went crazy. I was in two weddings, a family member passed away, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years (5 years...egads), went to my first music festival, started thinking about dating again for the first time in 5 years (5 years...god). In the last two months, I've been to Denver, Montana, Brussels, San Diego, D.C. and Kenya. Yep Kenya. And it was like this:

And this:

And this:

Photos by the inestimable Geoff Gailey... :(

A few months ago I read a post by Kiersten White where she said that part of the reason she was able to write a book in 9 days (what a badass, right?!) is that she didn't have much of a social life. I don't know how much that's true, and how much she was just being modest (I suspect the second), but I certainly see it in my own life. Writing is what I do when I'm lonely. But when life is great, it's almost like...I don't need it.

I've seen a lot of people on the blogosphere talk about how you balance writing with work and the busy times. But what I need to know is how you balance writing with the GOOD times. I love my job, I love my family, I love my friends and I love a whole bunch of smaller things too, like kayaking and backpacking and aikido and reading nonfiction about evolution and the drug war. I want to catch up on Archer so I can talk to my friends about it, apply for a masters degree in soil ecology (thrilling right?) and learn Spanish. I WANT WANT WANT to do so many things, and writing is only one of them.

Frankly, though, that's crap. It's excuses. Writing isn't just something I or any of us do just because we're bored. It's a part of our identity and more importantly, it's something we believe in. I have three books sitting on my computer in various states of not-finished-yet begging to be brought to life. But for a few weeks now, I haven't had any life to give them. I was too busy using it. Life though is all about balance, and this one of many glasses on the mini-bar of my life that has been waiting too long to get a refill.

So, I'm curious: How all do people make the time to write when they're gloriously happy, not angsty, lonely artists? How did Hemingway write books in between hunting big game and sailing around the world? How  did Hunter S. Thompson find the fortitude to take a break from the sex and drugs and put words down on typewriter? When life is thrilling and dangerous, how do you find the will and focus to write?

RTW: Burning Down the House

Hello! It's Road Trip Wednesday again, I have decided to participate because there are few enough posts in my brain as it is and I might as well make them stretch. Plus YA Highway is fun!

ANYWAY. RTDubs is a 'Blog Carnival.' The YA Highway chicas post a question, and wonderful writers all across the fairy blogosphere answer it. You can see all the links to responses HERE. It's just like a carnival! YAY! But with no funnel cake. NOOOO. 

This Week’s Topic: Your house is on fire and you can only grab FIVE things before you flee. What are they? 

1. Mangoes - I just bought these really good mangoes, and I'm super excited about eating them. So they get first priority if the apartment burns down today.

2. Our snake, Victoria - Not that she'd mind fire. In fact, she routinely curls up around BURNING WHITE HOT LIGHT BULBS, so she'd probably be like, "yes, flames, yessssss."

3.  Lappy - Considering 30-40% of my life hours of the last two years have been sunk into Ms. Laptop, it's now more important to me than several of my toes. Not the big toes, of course.

4. Jade, the plant - I got Jade at my best friend's father's funeral, and she grew from a tiny sprig into a huge flowering tree. She has become a symbol of the endless tug of war between life and death. Also smells nice.

5.  Twitter - Will twitter be safe after the fire? Okay, thank goodness. All right then...I would save...my bridesmaids dress for the wedding I'm going to in July. Those things aren't cheap, yo.

Everyone's post says laptop! It's hilarious. Clearly writers are horrible about backing up their work. (Totally guilty of that over here.) And too poor to afford new laptops (also guilty).

External and Internal Goals

So. Right now I'm being punched in the face by working on a new WIP. When I take a moment to black out sleep (otherwise known as that magical time between 3:00 and 6:00 7:00 8:45 hopelessly late to work in the morning) I've been thinking a lot about how to get the first draft to make sense, rather than jamming it into place during edits and knocking off half the sequins.

After years of bad drafting habits, I've hit on a little exercise that helps me keep my character motivations straight. In turn, this gives the whole novel direction and forward momentum. I like to call it External vs. Internal Wants.

Okay, it's pretty obvious that you need to know your MC's External Goal, right? It's the thing they want to DO, aka the whole point of your novel.

External Goal: A writer named J...u...li..ET. TA. Julietta. Actually, she's Spanish. BAM. Hulietta wants to write the best novel ever crafted.

But to make your book interesting and relatable your MC should also have Internal Desires. Now listen carefully: A great way to make your book richer is to make sure these two things aren't the same, and are actually in conflict. Internal and External Wants should be at cross-purposes, comme ca:

Internal Desire: Hulietta wants to play six hours of Assassin's Creed II every day.

Wily Temptress

Because of the Obstacle, both of these things aren't possible at the same time.

Obstacle: There's a finite number of hours in the day. And when the sun goes down, Hulietta cannot resist the evil clutches of SLEEP.

In order to overcome the obstacle, the character must take action! She must find a way to fight sleep!

BUT! If you want your story to be longer than 50 pages, there has to be something that prevents the character from tackling the obstacle head on. It could be something outside the character, like a school bully, a cranky boss, a thirteen-headed hydra, but these are really just more external obstacles. Your book becomes richer if the thing adding to the Obstacle is the Character Flaw.

Character Flaw: Hulietta hates the taste of coffee.

Now you have a rough framework to build a character and a story around. Amazingly, you also have a the major components of a quick and dirty blurb:

Hulietta is driven to be the best novelist since Danielle Steel. But hours of her time are taken up by Assassin's Creed II, the video game that's stolen her heart like no other in the last, oh, two months or so. Sleep is the enemy, but Hulietta can't bring herself to choke down any more disgusting coffee. Will Hulietta sacrifice her novel for her Xbox 360? Or will she learn to love the liquid crack and and become the video-game-playing bestseller of her dreams?

Yay! Look how shiny and logical this story is now! Focusing on your character's goals also helps keep your plot character-driven. When you know what the character wants, it's easier to make the character DO STUFF, rather than sitting around while stuff happens TO her.

(Admin Note: Sorry for the blog header, it's in progress. I will continue tweaking into infinity because that's what I do, but I promise it will look less crappy every time!)

The Evolution of Writing Wants

Remember when you first started writing? Your brain was in a constant state of "SQUEEEEE! A STORY!" And the only reason you sat down at your computer was:

1. I really want to read this book. So...I guess I'll write it?

And the power of creation was like electricity running through your carpal-tunnel stiffened fingers. No one has ever written the perfect story for you? Screw it, you'll write it yourself.

Soon, you start accumulating reasons. Like,

2. This is fun!
3. I am so deep. I am a sexy artist ARTISTE.

About a week later it's not really fun anymore and you realize your kids don't actually give a crap about your art because they want more Cheerios. But by now you've collected a few more reasons like deseprate, slightly off hitchikers who promise they'll get off at the NEXT town. Swearz.

4. You want some extra income.
5. You want to get an agent.

And in maybe a month, maybe a year, you finish that book. And suddenly you have all these other reasons to keep writing.

6. SHIT! An agent just requested a full. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT
7. Crap! My agent wants revisions! EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT DIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE
8. Socks! This editor needs me to revise and resubmit! Jump straight to death. Do not pass Edit. Do not collect DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE.

And even if you wanted to stop writing, you can't. Because suddenly there are all these expectations on you. It's not about finishing that book anymore, it's about,

9. I really want to write the sequel
10. I want to make my parents proud
11. I want to have something to show for the last 5 years
12. I want to feel cool at my high school reunion
13. I want my agent not to have to eat ramen noodles for dinner this year.
14. I want to see my name in a bookstore. In spotlights. Under the Printz seal.
15. I REALLY WANT SOME MONEY STILL

And, worst of all,

16. All these writers that are worse better younger older prettier uglier blog more blog less taller than me have book deals. I need to prove I'm one of them.

And maybe your book will sell and maybe it won't. Maybe you'll be sweating bullets for Book 2, or maybe you'll be staring at email chain of rejections, wondering what comes next. And at the end, it's just you and another empty page. And you really really wonder how you're going to get the giant ideas in your head out through the tiny holes in your fingertips, like the world's biggest, most sad-making and metaphorically awkward kidney stone.

But then you start writing. And you remember the reason you do it, the only reason you need and the only reason you should ever have is:

1. I really want to read this book. So I'll write it.

Hey Sexy New Idea - Want to Hook Up?

Hey sexy new idea,

How's it going? Cool. Yeah, I just broke up with my first novel last week. So...you want to come over later? I could put on one of my favorite playlists, type you out for a few hours. We don't need an outline or anything. Let's just relax. You know. Pants it.

Don't pretend. I know you've been eying me for months now, just waiting for me to dump that other novel. I can't resist you any longer. Your characters are so compelling. You just ooze natural conflict. And, well, I'm not normally this kind of girl, but you just seem so...marketable.

Come on. It'll just be 10,000 words. I promise. But I think once we start you'll find I'm a really...mmm, fast writer.

Oh. You were at Stephenie Meyer's house last night?  Um. That's cool. I mean, I don't mind being the novelist on the side or anything.

Is she, um, going to publish you?

$5 million? Oh. Really? That much? Huh. Well. This is awkward.

Oh okay. Yeah see you around. Maybe in a huge pile in the front of Barnes and Noble, right? Ha ha. Ha. Yeah okay bye yeah.

*cries over unfinished mermaid novel*

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As much as I miss my dearly departed first (and second) novels, I'm loving my WIP right now (no, it's not really about mermaids). What sexy new idea has you in its lovely python coils?

Road Trip Wednesday: Plotter or Pantser

Yay, this is my first YA Highway Road Trip Wednesday post ever! (See the emblem. Do you see it? YES IT REALLY IS REAL) --------------------->

I've always wanted to do one, but thought it was some sort of exclusive club. I still don't feel like an exclusive club member or anything, but I will do a post anyway, because if you can't be free on the internet, then WHERE?

So, plotter or pantser?

For me, it depends on the novel. I have run the gamut from so pants-ed I was naked to spending a month making eighteen spreadsheets.Here are my thoughts on each:

Pantsing it: My first book I wrote with no clue where I was going. It was fun and kittens and daisies and I came up with all kinds of inventive and funny scenes. Aaaaaand it also took two years to finish and was insanely long.

Verdict: Unadulterated fun in drafting. Prepare to spend months--nay, years--in editing hell.

Planning it: Totally burned by pantsing it, I tried the Snowflake method. I spent over a month writing character bios, scene spreadsheets, chapter run-downs. Writing and revising were quick, but the plot felt...well, blaaaah. Freed by my outline from the shackles of having to write things that kept me entertained, I stuffed the book with mountains of boring crap. Because that's what the plan said to do.

Verdict: Less rewriting, beautiful chapter structure. Limp, bloated storyline.

The Middle Way: This is what I'm trying right now. I made a very general outline, then jumped in. I write a scene at night, and spend the next day at work planning what comes next, always trying to amp up the stakes and twist the characters a bit.The writing has been fast and each individual scene has its own unique punch. No blah blah filler scenes like in my last book.

Verdict, so far: Very fast writing. High enthusiasm. Streamlined plot. Lots of gaps between key scenes. Moderate rewriting required. Finished product = ??? The eternal optimist in me says it will be amazing. Too bad the eternal optimist is DEAD.

(Just kidding!)

What about you? Planner? Panster? Just love saying Pants over and over again because it's a hilarious word? Me too. Pants pants pants pants pants pants.