1. I really want to read this book. So...I guess I'll write it?
And the power of creation was like electricity running through your carpal-tunnel stiffened fingers. No one has ever written the perfect story for you? Screw it, you'll write it yourself.
Soon, you start accumulating reasons. Like,
2. This is fun!
3. I am so deep. I am a sexy
About a week later it's not really fun anymore and you realize your kids don't actually give a crap about your art because they want more Cheerios. But by now you've collected a few more reasons like deseprate, slightly off hitchikers who promise they'll get off at the NEXT town. Swearz.
4. You want some extra income.
5. You want to get an agent.
And in maybe a month, maybe a year, you finish that book. And suddenly you have all these other reasons to keep writing.
6. SHIT! An agent just requested a full. EDIT EDIT EDIT EDIT
7. Crap! My agent wants revisions! EDIT EDIT EDIT
8. Socks! This editor needs me to revise and resubmit! Jump straight to death. Do not pass Edit. Do not collect DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE.
And even if you wanted to stop writing, you can't. Because suddenly there are all these expectations on you. It's not about finishing that book anymore, it's about,
9. I really want to write the sequel
10. I want to make my parents proud
11. I want to have something to show for the last 5 years
12. I want to feel cool at my high school reunion
13. I want my agent not to have to eat ramen noodles for dinner this year.
14. I want to see my name in a bookstore. In spotlights. Under the Printz seal.
15. I REALLY WANT SOME MONEY STILL
And, worst of all,
16. All these writers that are
And maybe your book will sell and maybe it won't. Maybe you'll be sweating bullets for Book 2, or maybe you'll be staring at email chain of rejections, wondering what comes next. And at the end, it's just you and another empty page. And you really really wonder how you're going to get the giant ideas in your head out through the tiny holes in your fingertips, like the world's biggest, most sad-making and metaphorically awkward kidney stone.
But then you start writing. And you remember the reason you do it, the only reason you need and the only reason you should ever have is:
1. I really want to read this book. So I'll write it.
My first book was written for reason #1. The reason for writing the second book falls under #10-13: I want to write a book other people will want to read.
ReplyDeleteTruly excellent post. I'm going to go reason #1 myself now.
ReplyDeleteActually, I wrote my first book for completelt separate but almost related reasons. I have a book I want read/write, but I needed the discipline to sit down and do that, so I wrote a book for my kids, because they keep me accountable to the writing by incessantly badgering me about what's next. And, now, so do their friends. So I'm writing a second book that goes with the first one. One day, I'll get to my book.
ReplyDeleteI think I really needed to hear this today. It helps to remember why we love to write in the first place! Thanks, Julia.
ReplyDeleteThis appears to be spot on, Julia. Though I'm only hovering around #7, I think you hit the (dis)illusions of grandeur right on the head. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm currently at #6, but I need to keep #1 in mind and push everything else out of the way.
ReplyDeleteI <3 this so, so SOOOOO much. I'm sort of at 7.5 AND 16 right now and it's MESSING WITH MY MIND. But must remember #1. It's ALWAYS about #1. And #2. And...okay, maybe about #3, too! (Because anything with an added 'E' at the end makes it instantly sound French and Chic and I am none of that but really, really want to be!)
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