Thursday, September 1, 2011

When Real Life is More Interesting Than Blogs

Sweet Jesus, I have not written anything on this blog for two months. It seemed like everything was going fine: I was writing up a storm, blogging once or twice a week. Dammit, this is what being a real writer feels like, I thought to myself. And then everything stopped.

In my writing life.

But in my real life, things went crazy. I was in two weddings, a family member passed away, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years (5 years...egads), went to my first music festival, started thinking about dating again for the first time in 5 years (5 years...god). In the last two months, I've been to Denver, Montana, Brussels, San Diego, D.C. and Kenya. Yep Kenya. And it was like this:

And this:
And this:

Photos by the inestimable Geoff Gailey... :(

A few months ago I read a post by Kiersten White where she said that part of the reason she was able to write a book in 9 days (what a badass, right?!) is that she didn't have much of a social life. I don't know how much that's true, and how much she was just being modest (I suspect the second), but I certainly see it in my own life. Writing is what I do when I'm lonely. But when life is great, it's almost like...I don't need it.

I've seen a lot of people on the blogosphere talk about how you balance writing with work and the busy times. But what I need to know is how you balance writing with the GOOD times. I love my job, I love my family, I love my friends and I love a whole bunch of smaller things too, like kayaking and backpacking and aikido and reading nonfiction about evolution and the drug war. I want to catch up on Archer so I can talk to my friends about it, apply for a masters degree in soil ecology (thrilling right?) and learn Spanish. I WANT WANT WANT to do so many things, and writing is only one of them.

Frankly, though, that's crap. It's excuses. Writing isn't just something I or any of us do just because we're bored. It's a part of our identity and more importantly, it's something we believe in. I have three books sitting on my computer in various states of not-finished-yet begging to be brought to life. But for a few weeks now, I haven't had any life to give them. I was too busy using it. Life though is all about balance, and this one of many glasses on the mini-bar of my life that has been waiting too long to get a refill.

So, I'm curious: How all do people make the time to write when they're gloriously happy, not angsty, lonely artists? How did Hemingway write books in between hunting big game and sailing around the world? How  did Hunter S. Thompson find the fortitude to take a break from the sex and drugs and put words down on typewriter? When life is thrilling and dangerous, how do you find the will and focus to write?

8 comments:

  1. First, I'm jealous of your trip to Kenya!! How WONDERFUL! I lived in the Central African Republic for a couple years, but never made a trip to east Africa. My current WiP has CAR as its primary setting in the middle of the book, so I've been revisiting my journals and photos, and doing some Internet searches to refresh my memory of the history of the country. I know you'll agree with me: once you've been to Africa, the world never looks the same again. Right?

    For me, I try to indulge in my good life every second I can, because every outing, every experience, every opportunity is a bookmark in my mental file from which I draw upon in my fiction. I'm lucky that I don't work outside my house and the place is quiet from when the kids go to school and when they get home. That's my writing time. I love it!

    Best of luck with all the changes you're going through and readjustments to the single life. This is YOUR time! Enjoy!

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  2. I don't have much of a social life either, so maybe it's easier for me. Am very jealous of your trip to Kenya! I've always wanted to go :)

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  3. I'm sort of under the impression that when it's time to write, the characters will be shouting so loud in my head I can't do anything except sit in front of the computer (or scribble in my notebook) and make their world come to life.

    If my own life is in chaos, it's hard to sense where the story needs to go and I may end up making it more tragic than it needs to be if I'm subliminally working out my own problems through the story.

    And when I'm happy and things are going great, I try to make sure that my writing is still listed as one of those things.

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  4. The thing that worked for me was setting a daily goal. Even a small one. Make sure you do it. Find something or someone to be accountable to.

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  5. Beautiful pictures, Julia!

    I'm struggling with the whole balance thing too--in fact, I haven't been all that productive (writing-wise) this summer because I've been soaking up the sun and enjoying time with my daughter. It's been fabulous, but I still have underlying guilt about not sitting down to write for hours each day.

    Like Andrew mentioned, I'm going to start writing again in the next few weeks and I'm going to set daily goals for myself (likely 2K a day). Hopefully that will jumpstart me into productivity!

    And if you find that ever-elusive answer to balancing all the different aspects of life, please please please share!

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  6. You went to Kenya! Amazing! I lived in Ghana (West Africa) for a few months and LOVE Africa as a whole. I'm glad it was amazing.

    I have a hard time balancing writing and the good times, too. I don't think there's anything wrong from taking a break from writing to have some amazing moments in life. I try to remember that balances always shift-- if I spend a week (or longer) absorbed in awesome life and do no writing, that's okay. Like you said, writing is a part of us too, and we can come back to it and give it it's own time when the good times lull. The balance can change every day, or every week, or month or year.

    Glad to see you back on the blog. :)

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  7. Wow, talk about exciting times for you. I'm curious about what you've been up to since September!

    I'm not sure how I balance it. Most of the time, I don't. It seems like for me it's either feast or famine. But I can't seem to go too long without writing. I just get too anxious. That seems to be a trigger for me. A sort of motivation out of dry spells, I guess.

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  8. Balance...what is this thing you call balance???

    Also, I'd say I'm sorry about your break-up, but it appears all is well, thus, for the best. And, dude, how is it you've never been to a music festival before??? That boyfriend needs to be an ex-boyfirend for not taking you to one 5 years ago.

    I'm friends with everybody above, including your agent-mates. But this is my first time here. Nice to 'meet' you. :)

    Here's to more traveling and music festivals and good times,
    Lola

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